Baked Alaska apparently didn’t flee the country, as several had suspected he might be inclined to do.

He is now in federal custody awaiting trial for high crimes and joking around in a silly way with an important telephone.

Hartford Courant:

Right-wing media personality Tim Gionet, who calls himself “Baked Alaska,” has been arrested by the FBI for his involvement in the riot at the U.S. Capitol, a law enforcement official told The Associated Press.

Gionet was arrested by federal agents in Houston on Saturday, according to the official, who was not authorized to discuss the matter before the public release of a criminal complaint and spoke on condition of anonymity.

Law enforcement officials across the country have been working to locate and arrest suspects who committed federal crimes and so far have brought nearly 100 cases in federal court and the District of Columbia Superior Court.

Gionet posted video that showed Trump supporters in “Make America Great Again” and “God Bless Trump” hats milling around and taking selfies with officers in the Capitol who calmly asked them to leave the premises. The Trump supporters talked among themselves, laughed, and told the officers and each other: “This is only the beginning.”

He has previously worked for BuzzFeed and is well-known among members of the so-called “alt-right.”

Gionet was also present at the 2017 Charlottesville protests that resulted in the death of a left-wing counterprotester.

Frankly, none of the charges most of these people are getting hit with are really all that serious, and they’ve backed off from a lot of the really silly stuff about a “terrorist attack,” an “insurrection” and an “attempted coup,” as it was apparently so dumb that they couldn’t find a prosecutor that could say it publicly without cracking up laughing.

That said, if anyone is going to get baked, it’s Baked. He’s the only person in the whole event who can be tied to the “Alt-Right” or anything relating to “white nationalism” (other than the “Camp Auschwitz” sweatshirt guy), so he’s going to be a really important figure for the media, which means he’s going to be a really important figure for prosecutors.

It’s going to be a hard sell to try and frame this that he or anyone else was part of any kind of conspiracy. With some of these people, they’re just going to be like “yeah, okay, whatever, three years probation, don’t ever come back to D.C.”

Baked is going to get a much harder ride than that, simply because of who he is.

Plus, he admitted to being infected with the dreaded murder-virus COVID-19, which means that anyone who was ever in the Capitol building after him, who dies from any cause, was literally murdered by him.

They’re really talking about that a lot.

I have no idea why he ever got tested, let alone told people the results. But I also have no idea why he streamed himself storming the Capitol. I guess the reason for both were the same.

People call me an “opticsfag” when I tell them optics means everything. Look at them now.

Right now, his charges are the same as most people’s, which aren’t that big of a deal, really.

He might not get totally crucified, I don’t know, but if I had to guess, I’d guess he will end up doing some kind of federal time.

The fact that he streamed it is also going to be used against him, obviously, because there is all this footage of him joking around, and they will say “he thinks our democracy is a big joke! Our sacred democracy! Our values!” That shit he said about “this is just the beginning” is also not going to play well.

Speaking of Baked streaming – he streamed on DLive, and DLive, very stupidly, responded by banning everyone. Like, they literally banned everyone, including Nick Fuentes, Ethan Ralph, Vince James – everyone.

This was really, really a bad move.

I just wish people would call me in these crisis management situations, but I’m that guy!

Bitches don’t be knowin’ ’bout my crisis management skillz n sheeeeit.

Apparently, someone threatened to remove DLive’s payment processor.

I think I’ll just go ahead and write an open letter to DLive.

The real question of importance here is: will Baked be allowed to livestream from jail? Will he be allowed to livestream his trial?

If not, then why?

Because there are no freedoms?